Advice for parents of children starting school

The first bell rang for pre-school and first grade students across Turkey, and thousands of children were excited to start school. Gizem Simge Kısa, clinical psychologist at Izmir University of Economics (IUE), gave advice to families in order to speed up the process of children's adaptation to school and prevent them from getting anxious. Kısa said, “Talk to your child, listen to what he/she is doing at school. Do not be impatient and hasty, make your child feel that you trust them. Never compare your child with anyone else.”

Pointing out that with the opening of schools, a process that has not been experienced before has started for both families and children, Kısa said that parents should be careful in this process.

EXPLAIN WHAT SCHOOL IS

Stating that the correct communication with the child will accelerate adaptation to school, Kısa said, “Your child may have some anxieties and excitement. This is quite normal. Listen to your child, let them express themselves. Make your child feel that you value their opinion. While informing your child about school, you can also tell your own school memories. For example, it may be comforting for him/her to hear about what you did when you first started school. During this process, parents often think of school as a place to play or spend time with friends. Do not limit school only in this way. Share with your child what school is, for what purpose you go to school, what activities are done at school.”

THEIR SKILLS AND LEARNING ARE DIFFERENT

Stating that there may be differences in the skills and learning speed of each child, Kısa said that parents should never compare their children, and added: “School is also the beginning of a period when the child grows up and feels the power of being able to do things on their own. In this process, children may want to attract the attention of their families and be appreciated for what they do. Have plenty of conversations with your child, show that you trust your child. For example you can make statements that boost self-confidence such as, ‘You may be a little excited or worried about starting school. But we are always with you. You will love school very much and you will improve yourself with your talents’. Do not compare your child with others. We often hear phrases such as, ‘Look, your friend loves school and learned to read before you did. You should catch up with him/her’. These phrases, which are meant to motivate the child, may actually increase insecurity and anxiety. Each child is unique and their interests and learning development may differ. Just focus on your child and help him/her.”

SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID OF SEPARATION

Kısa continued as follows: “Children may worry about separation from the family with the school starting. For this reason, you may go to your child's school frequently in the early days, this is normal. However, there should be a limit and order to this. You can reassure your child by telling them that the school is very safe and that the teacher will take care of them. If your child is afraid of leaving you or worried about going to school even 3-4 months after the school opens, then there is a problem. Therefore, do not be too oppressive or controlling, let your child stand on their own feet.”

TRY TO STICK TO A ROUTINE

Adding that it is necessary to establish a certain routine for children, Kısa said, “Set a routine for play, sleep and meals. Of course, it may be difficult to follow it all the time, but try to stick to it as much as possible. Especially since sleep time is very important for the development of the child, make sure that your child is not sleep deprived and does not go to bed too late.”