** I am NOT OP.** Original post by u/Majestic_Channel_815 in r/whatdoIdo and compilation Reddit post by u/PinkPussycatPower

::: spoiler Trigger Warning
Sexual predation, invasion of privacy, voyeurism, stalking, sexual harassment
:::

::: spoiler Mood Warning
Deeply unsettling, infuriating, ultimately vindicating
:::

Original Post:

August 12, 2026

My step dad is acting very creepy towards me (19)

I feel like I’m losing my mind so sorry if this is all over the place. My mom got married to this guy around a year ago, but they’ve been together for around two. He wasn’t weird till he moved in, or maybe I just didn’t notice it. It’s been little things but it’s just progressively gotten worse and I don’t know what do to. I’ll give some examples. One time I went shopping at Victoria Secret and I put the bags in my room. I left again immediately after because I went to hang out with a friend. When I came back, he asked me why I would buy such expensive underwear when I could just “get a pack at Walmart or something”.

I figured maybe he saw the bags when I got home? Then said “I mean blue? Really?” (The colour of the underwear i bought) I was immediately disgusted and embarrassed. Not only does that mean he went through my stuff, he also went in my room for no reason. Is that a regular occurrence and he just so happened to see the bags that time? I feel like if you see a victoria secret bag you already know what’s in it, so why would he have to go through it?? I told my mom and she said he’s just being overprotective… Another example is that I have a boyfriend and I do go see him often.

Every time I leave the house he’ll say “off to see that little boyfriend of yours again??” He never says his name even though I know he knows it. Or “don’t get pregnant or I’ll kick you out.” He always says he’s joking after but is that not an odd thing to say?? There’s a couple more examples but I don’t want to make this post too long. Anyway, what made me make this post is something that happened recently that makes me very uncomfortable and grossed out. Him and my mom went out on a date night so I asked my mom if I could invite my boyfriend over. She has never said no before, and this time is no different. He overheard and said “We both know why you want him over” in an angry tone.

My mom brushed him off and said yes, so they left. My boyfriend came over and we were in my room. We were watching tv but at the end of the day he is my boyfriend, so we started kissing. He crawled on top of me and that’s when my stepdad barged in without knocking and started yelling at us. We didn’t hear them come home. I’ll admit, it did look bad, but why does he care so much about my sex life? My mom knows and is fine with it as long as I’m safe. He said stuff like I can’t have sex in “his house” (it’s my mom’s) and just saying controlling things. My mom calmed him down but for the rest of the night he kept opening my door trying to “catch us” in the act, so my boyfriend just went home.

I feel like I’m entitled to my own space because I do partially pay for rent, but even if I didn’t, is his behaviour still not weird? The easiest solution is to move out but that’s just not possible right now. I only work part time because of school. I just feel stuck. I could try talking to my mom again but with more details, but I’m scared of her reaction. I don’t want to feel like I’m making a big deal of things again. Literally any advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

TOP COMMENTS

CrashBangXD: None of those comments are ok. Ask your mum to spend time together one on one so that you’ve got an open and safe environment. Document instances of this, as in dates, times and instances to give you a proven breakdown of evidence of his behaviour

Apart_Foundation1702: Oh he is definitely a red flag! OP, He clearly doesn't agree with your mum's parenting, he does come off creepy. Is there another family member you can stay with, under the same arrangement as your mum?? Or maybe look for a room to rent.

OOP: I do have other family but they live too far away. I’ve been looking for places but have been unsuccessful so far

Educational_Ask_1790: I highly HIGHLY recommend buying an indoor ring camera or any sort of indoor surveillance camera to stick somewhere in your room. This guy is a creep and hes a weirdo. Hes more than likely going into your room or maybe he even has a camera of his own in there.

Frozencacticat: He 100% knows what he’s doing. This isn’t normal. You’re not crazy. You’re not being dramatic. You’re not wrong to feel like something is wrong. Your mother needs to step up and pay attention! I’d try to get some time alone with your mother and just be honest. Just start out with the fact that you don’t even want to talk about this and that it makes you very uncomfortable and stressed, and then tell her exactly what’s been going on. All of it. Tell her you don’t feel safe. Tell her you’re afraid of how he will react.

In the meantime, I’d find a way to lock your bedroom door. I don’t know if you can change the knob without them knowing and freaking out but maybe you can get something online to wedge it locked or push something in front of the door to make it hard to get in? Idk he just freaks me out. The underwear thing and the comments about your boyfriend are extremely inappropriate! If he cared about you in a normal fatherly way he would have told you gently to be careful and be safe and that you can always come to him if you need anything. He did not do that. He loudly told you to not get pregnant in a joking manner. That is not a joke and it is a weird thing to say to a young girl.

He also hasn’t been with your mother near long enough to have earned the “father” role. It’s tricky and it takes time. You can’t, as an adult man, barge into a girls life and expect her to immediately respect you as a father figure. You need to earn that, and it takes years. But that is beside the point, just a small part of the issue here Anyways, sorry this was a lot. It really upsets me to read this cause I remember being a 19 year old. Trying to figure out who I was, finishing school up and not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. Being essentially broke and completely reliant on my dad. It’s not easy. I’m 28 now and my God.. I don’t think I’d ever go back and do that all again. Life is hard enough for a teenager without a creepy man living in your home saying and doing weird creepy stuff.

To recap: you are NOT crazy. You didn’t sound like you were trying to make him sound better or worse. Your post was very matter of fact + how you felt. You are not dramatic or wrong. He is wrong. He knows it. Your mother likely has already noticed and is either making an excuse in her head or possibly also thinking “no way he isn’t like that”. So I think talking to her and being honest about it all is key right now. Try not to spend time alone with him. He seems unpredictable. I know it’s an “easier said than done” situation but just do your best. Think about a plan b and c. Like, if your mom isn’t receptive, who are you going to go to next? I know it’s stressful but just have it in your back pocket just in case. Maybe a teacher or your boyfriend’s parents might be able to help as well.

Anyways, talk to your mom asap. Keep him far away as much as you can. Don’t ever feel crazy or wrong. Trust your instincts, they are there to protect you. One thing I wish I learned years ago was to always trust my gut. Being safe is better than being sorry. I’ll be thinking of you! Please, if you feel up to it, keep us updated! Good luck OP!

OOP: Thank you so much for this. It really helped.

Update:

August 16, 2026 (4 DAYS LATER)

My step dad is acting very creepy towards me - UPDATE

Firstly I want to thank everyone for the advice. Just to address some things I saw in the comments of my last post. Yes, my actual dad is in my life and our relationship is great. I haven’t/can’t move in with him because he lives too far. I also never told him about the situation with my step dad at that time because I’ll know he’d do something he’d regret. My dad is a good man but has severe anger issues when people hurt me. He’s been to jail over it in the past. He went to therapy and is way better now, but I didn’t want any chance of messing up all his progress. As for my boyfriend, I have stayed over at his place many times but moving in permanently isn’t really possible because he has a roommate of his own, so I’m not sure why people were trying to shift some blame on him. He’s not a bum, he’s not leeching off of me, he’s simply also 19 and starting out his life. As for moving out in general , you guys must have been very lucky to have been in a better position than me at my age. I can’t simply move out on a whim. I only work part time (trying to get more hours) plus I go to school. I can’t afford a place on my own plus tuition, the cost of living is too high where I am. Being 19 doesn’t immediately make you on your feet. It’s only my first year out of highschool. Just needed to get that out of the way.

As for the actual update, I’m afraid it’s worse than what i thought. As soon as I saw the first comment about a potential hidden camera it scared me so much so that I immediately bought one of those camera detector things. When it came, I waited till he wasn’t home to try it out. I found 3. One in front of my bed, one above it, and one on my dresser. They are scarily small, but I still feel so dumb for not noticing. Couldn’t describe the feeling I had when I found them. I threw up and my mom heard and ran to comfort me. When I got myself together, I told her everything. Every action that made me uncomfortable, every comment he said that felt weird. I showed her the cameras I found.

Her face immediately dropped and she started crying. She just asked over and over why didn’t I tell her sooner and it just made me feel that much more awful. It was my fault that I didn’t tell her. She apologized over and over again and said she failed me. We had a much needed convo and afterwards. Said that she just thought it was uncomfortable between us because it’s a new adjustment for all of us. She searched the rest of the house for me because i honestly couldn’t deal with finding others. She found one in the bathroom then searched his office. He always told us we weren’t allowed in because that’s where his work stuff is and he doesn’t want us to “mess it up.” I waited at the door while she searched, and in the drawers she found random stuff of mine and an old phone that we don’t know of.

On the phone there are pictures and videos from my social media accounts, of me sleeping, changing, me being intimate with my boyfriend, all in my room. She also found a couple pairs of my underwear that I didn’t even notice went missing, a couple of my hair ties, and after that I went back to my room. I couldn’t watch anymore of that. I called my boyfriend to pick me up while my mom called the police because I just couldn’t stay in that house for any longer. He held me and I cried for what felt like hours till I fell asleep. I woke up and called my mom and told me the run down of what happened. I don’t know all the details because I couldn’t bear to hear much. Basically he came home to the cops and completely owned up to putting cameras in my room. His defense was that he needs to know everything that’s going on in “his” house. As for my stuff and the pictures, he claims he doesn’t know how it got there.

He’s arrested but that’s all I know so far. I told my dad and he’s driving down now. I haven’t been asked to make a statement yet, and I don’t know how any of that works honestly. It’s triggering to even think about. But yeah, there’s the update. To the people who sent me hateful and hurtful things and told me this was all in my head, especially u/mysterymeat45 and u/pazsion80423294, i hope you never have kids. If you hate privately you should be called out publicly. Even if you are troll accounts it’s still insanely fucked up to say the things you did. To everyone who gave me actual, genuine advice, I wish nothing but the best for you all and thanks again so much. If it weren’t for you guys I’d probably think I was still being dramatic. I most likely won’t update again, i already want to move on from this situation. Sorry if this is jumbled. Everything is still so fresh, but writing it out is somehow helping me process it, I think.

Edit: stop calling me “lucky” because he didn’t do worse. I don’t feel lucky at all.

Here are just a couple more examples since people didn’t think the ones my other post were damming enough, and to also maybe help someone else in a similar situation see signs. 1, He would ALWAYS need to know where I am and who I’m with. I find this weird because he’s not my dad, I’m an adult, and I would tell my mom. My mom telling him wasn’t enough. He’d say “no, I want to hear it from HER mouth.” 2, he would often open my packages if I didn’t get to them in time. Very annoying and weird. I ordered the camera detector when the arrival time was while he was at work, so I got lucky there. 3, always commenting on my outfits. Would tell me unwanted “advice”, and that I look like a hooker if I wore shorts/skirts/anything “revealing”. 4, would always ask me about birth control/using protection. “Are you on the pill? If not that little fucker (my boyfriend) better be wrapping it up.” He’d say stuff like this at the most random times too. 5, would always try to use my mom against me. If we got into an argument he would make himself seem like the victim, always. My mom would always say to leave her out of it. 6, he would sometimes groan or say “you again??” Very annoyed when I walked in a room. It was over exaggerated to the point where he could brush it off as a joke if he wanted, but I knew it wasn’t a joke. 7, if I bought something and came home with bags, he’d interrogate me about what I bought. The VS bag is the only time I have hard proof that he went through my stuff. 8, he was super weird about my boyfriend. He would never say his name, just “that little boyfriend of yours.” If I went to go see him he’d roll his eyes and say “again?” Or “don’t you spent too much time with him?” 9, pushing me to call him dad even though he never even come close to having that title. 10, would never ever knock before opening my door. Even though I told him to, repeatedly. Thats all I can really think of right now.

TOP COMMENTS

lizziebee66: Sweetie, whilst your mum’s reaction upset you that she was also upset, hold on to the fact that she 100% believed you. She loves you and has your safety at the centre of her world. Stay safe and loved

Bulky-Mycologist-402: The fact that 3 separate cameras were found is absolutely sickening & frightening. I hope this guy gets punished to the fullest extent of the law. So sorry to hear you had to endure this, it's very disheartening & wretched knowing this creep thought he can be sneaky and get away doing some shit like this.

Illustrious-Tart7844: Hi, OP. I’m a former domestic violence victim advocate and I’ve worked with women who have gone through similar incidents and worse... I’m so sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve this at all. You handled it PERFECTLY and I’m astounded by your strength. Please wrap yourself in support. You will get through this and come out stronger on the other side. Take care of yourself, please. 💜

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