I keep getting lost in the jungle of options and incompatibilities so I was hoping to enlist some help in selecting a stack

I’m looking for open source software in the base, maybe truenas but I prefer debian and my partner uses LMDE already.

• On top of that should be a simple file server for backups/network storage. Some interface for managing storeage would be huge too
• Wireguard with an interface
• Having a simple container interface for future features like homeassistant and jellyfin et al is great too.

Open source and free is a must and I want to avoid risk for future lockins and freemium/ripe for enshitification-software as far as possible. And no or at least responsible llm use if that even exists anymore.
Happy to shed featues to acheive that in combination with longevity.
Is plain debian or even ubuntu the way to go or are there more optimised distros? Or am i just describing fedora with cockpit?
Im not lost in linux itself, just overwhelmed with the endless options hoping someone can help me make a plan!

Would you make someone you love a home server?